Niki Gratrix has so eloquently written about an aspect of ACEs that is often overlooked. At Healthy Parenting Resources, attachment and developmental trauma is the first thing we explore and address with families, as we understand that the attachment relationship is the absolute most important aspect and influencer of a child's development. Below is a link to Niki's article, which includes a phenomenal video about trauma, the brain, and relationships, from the Post Institute.
This post was originally found here...http://ow.ly/mrzY30gkWlF
Fear vs Anger
Another illustration from Bryan Post’s From Fear to Love: Parenting Difficult Adopted, Foster and Diagnosed Children to keep in mind. Understanding that anger is an expression of fear is a key to understanding your child’s behaviors. When we can receive their anger as a gift, we can begin the unwrapping process. But why is this so difficult? And how can we go about unwrapping such an unwanted gift?
I just finished reading the email from email@example.com below, and wanted to share it here on my website because of the wisdom it contained. Hope you find it helpful!
What kind of a role model am I? What kind are you? When adults get stressed out, they tend to act like adolescents because “When we stress, we regress.” Our amygdala is hijacked, our higher functioning frontal cortex is shut down and we are no longer running the show. The same of course for our children. Think about this the next time you are tempted to say to them, “What were you thinking!?!?” The answer is simple - Not.
Originally posted here https://visiblechild.wordpress.com/2015/09/20/toilet-training-in-one-simple-step/
"Every day. I hear it–and read it. Every day.
Sticker charts. Potty chairs that play music. Potty chairs in every room. Give them the iPad while they sit there. Bribe them with TV time. Make them sit until they go. Give them an m&m every time they go. Let them run around naked. They had it and now they don’t. She won’t go when I ask and then she pees in her pants. What do I do when we’re out. He knows to go in the potty and today I walked in and he was squatting and pooping in the middle of the rug. Mine was potty trained when she was 18 months. He has to be toilet trained for preschool. I’m exhausted. I’m frustrated. I find myself yelling “would you just go already?!” I’m starting to think I need to hire one of those people like they have in New York City who come in and potty train your kid for a thousand bucks–it’d be worth it, this is crazy! All the other kids are potty trained and he seems to have no interest. We cheer every time he goes and he claps and cheers but it doesn’t seem to make any difference. What books should we read. What videos should we watch. Is there an app for that? (Yeah. There is.)
Originally posted here by Parenting For Peace...
"If there is a single idea most associated with springtime, it is GROWTH. We see it all around us in the natural world.
Our human world isn't quite as straightforward. As the trees bud and flowers blossom outside our windows, our global landscape features a lot of suffering, turmoil and fear. Many people I talk to are feeling anguished and powerless.
I really get that. And, I want to remind you of the powerful social action you as a parent (or teacher or caregiver) for peace are engaged in every day: building the youth for our future. [That's an FDR paraphrase. I wrote more about this in my Winter newsletter, in case you still have it.]