How do the seemingly insignificant things in a parent-child relationship add up to become significant? I have seen this process unfold with many of the families I have had the privilege of working with. I've also seen this unfold in my own interactions with children during therapy sessions. So what insignificant things am I referring to? A few things come to mind...the way we talk to children when we need to set limits, the way we respond to their emotions when they are not happy, and the things we actually set limits on. Limit-setting and big emotions are always things that come up during my work with children and families, and I often find myself prefacing my coaching around these things with, "This might seem insignificant now, but..." Then we have a conversation about why letting the seemingly insignificant testing behaviors go, or using an indirect and/or uncertain statement when trying to set a limit, or invalidating an emotion because it seems so "dramatic", all add up very quickly for children, creating stress and likely more behavior challenges later.
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